Sunday, July 19, 2009

4 Months Old!


Lola was 4 months old on Friday - wow, how time flies. I woke up really early this AM, and for some reason it reminded me of the morning I went into labor and my water broke so early at 4AM. I don't know why that memory jumped into my thoughts...

It is already hard to remember our life before her, it seems so natural to have her in the mix. She is trying to roll over (any day now), can hold a toy in her hand, and is starting solid foods. Kevin swears she belly laughed yesterday, but sadly I missed it. She has become our entertainment, joy, and respite despite the burdens of work and commitments that seem to overshadow us right now.

I ended tonight like I do every night, rocking Lola before bedtime. It is by far the best part of the day. At first she squirms a little, and then she starts to surrender and settle in. And then I hear the quick little paces of her sucking on her pacifier, and my heart aches. It aches with overwhelming love for her, and excitement for how she is evolving. It aches because she will get too big too fast, I won't be able to protect her forever, and eventually she won't need me anymore. But for now, she and I know that 10 minutes each night is a magical, mesmerizing time where we just rock and love. And then I put her in her crib and say the same thing every night, "Sweet dreams Lola Grace" I wonder if she dreams yet?

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